I don’t know if I’m hurting. I don’t know if I need to move on. Am I okay now? Or am I just ignoring the pain? I seriously do not know anymore.
It’s been three weeks since Vince and I ended our two-year relationship. Honestly, I was expecting the breakup to happen after a year. Maybe this is why I’m feeling at ease with what happened.
Vince and I were in a long-distance relationship. I’m from Laguna, and he’s in Cebu. We met through an online community, each running our own online groups—mine was gaming, and his was a different genre. He joined my group, we talked almost every day, and that was the start of our love story.
Our relationship was simple. It wasn’t toxic. We didn’t fight at all in those two years together. I visited him in Cebu every quarter. Honestly, I would never have set foot in Cebu if it weren’t for Vince, lol.
We made memories together when we were together and even when we were apart.
But as time went by, things changed. We had less time to talk to each other. We stopped making video or voice calls. Our conversations became repetitive. Sometimes, I wasn’t even interested in what he was talking about anymore. It became so routine that it felt transactional… like we talked without meaning anymore… probably without love anymore.
I don’t want to get into more details, but we broke up after two years. It was an easy breakup. I initiated the conversation because I realized it really had to end. And he felt the same way too.
Now, I don’t feel like I’m hurting. There are times during the day when I remember him. I see things that remind me of him. And that’s just it. I believe this is normal because Vince was a part of my life. He showed me that despite the heartbreaks I had before him, I can still love someone. That love is still something I want in my life.
I know the time will come when everything will make sense.
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn, and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again