Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

Three years ago, Jess Lively bravely started the topic “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” that hit the blogosphere, and then nearly a hundred other bloggers followed.  I followed the trend two years ago and decided to write about the topic again.

I’ve wanted to write about this for weeks already, however, I’m quite worried about this radical vulnerability, and considered it as a trap. At first, I’m not telling everyone my shit. I’ve been delving into a lot of feelings and thoughts winnowing which ones are “all right” to ration with the communal. I used to write in a very outspoken manner grasping how blogging is right now, and how the general public can cyber bully you. Exposing the naked truth about me is scary because you may laugh at me, or you may judge me. But upon getting lost reading a lot of bloggers sharing everything from their uncertainties to idiosyncratic secrets to anxieties and everything in between, I have to say, it was pretty affecting and inspirational.

Now it’s my turn to tell you. Please be gentle with me.

  1. There are a lot of changes in the office. Our division will be separating to the whole organization, and we’ll be totally an individual entity by September 2016. We are expecting a new company name, new organizational chart, new management, and new policies. There might be changes in salaries, leaves credits, and what-not. The even worst side, there were employees who had to leave since their contract ended, some were released, and the recent, my boss was advised to leave the organization. I don’t have any idea why he needed to leave. Isn’t that worrisome? What could happen next? We asked, but no definite answers were given. Like something is being covered.
  2. I’m still undecided on what to do with my life. I know I have a job, and everything seems well, but there’s something lacking. Prolly, it’s because I haven’t set my life goals yet, and whenever I’m thinking about it, I can’t seem to find what to set.
  3. Dating seems difficult now. I decided to date from time to time. Yes, I do regular dates like going to the movie, having fancy dinner, and the like. But I can’t feel happiness from dating anymore. So what more when I’ll be in a relationship, a commitment. This might be an outcome of my failed relationships.

I’m owning mine because I want you to own yours – your weirdness, your failings, your quirks.

 

Author: clint mamuri

Filipino blogger, Pisces, INFJ-T, eldest child, books obsessed

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  • Hi Clint! It’s good to be reading your posts again, I dont know if you remember me but i used to blog before then stopped. Just launched my blog (again) today hehe.
    Anyways, very interesting post. I don’t know what I would write if i were to do this. My life is boring, lol not that I’m complaining (well ok maybe slightly complaining lol) but also it’s kind of scary thing to do.

    I’m also like you trying to figure out things with my life, haha. Just when I thought I had it figured out that’s the time i doubt myself even more. I guess that’s just how life works? Always trying to find something that’s not there yet. Important thing for me is that we never stop trying to be better, to improve our way of living and to never stop dreaming. You’ll find a new goal and I hope you’ll enjoy the journey 😀

    Got too carried away there haha, sorry. Anyways it would be awesome if you could also visit my blog. But only if you want to 🙂 also including you to my blog roll page. Hope that’s ok 🙂

    http://gclarcy.com

  • You aren’t the only one. I don’t know what to do with my life either and I’m going to be 27 this year. Sadly. I should know it but I don’t. I hate it. Just keep doing what you do regardless. Answers will come to you <3

  • I think you’re still young so don’t pressure yourself too much with dating and relationships. The important thing is to enjoy your own company. You’ll never find happiness from another because it should come from within. Failed relationships are okay. You live, you learn. The important thing is to be better every time. 🙂
    Someday you’ll look back and all the pieces will come together.

  • I admire you for taking the courage to write something personal like this. There are a lot of movements and changes happening in our company as well. Actually we acquired a new company name too, last November. But the only difference maybe is, the changes that are happening to us, are for a positive reason. But still, I was very new back then in the company and the people that I’m comfortable with, are the ones who are being moved to other teams. I felt really sad, and the adjustment period for me took so long.
    Maybe this is just a normal phase that everybody has to deal with. I can’t say that wherever I’m in now, is the place I really wanted. Coz I also feel frustrated and I tend to compare myself with others too. I’m still slowly figuring out what I really want to do in life. But for now, I’m trying to enjoy the journey even if I don’t understand it sometimes. 🙂

  • One brave move, for writing a blogpost about this. For the very least, you were able to write it down and express your feelings.I think all companies undergo changes. It may be big or small, but still, something or someone will be affected. And just like in general, we can’t do anything about it but to accept it. Mahirap, pero kakayanin.
    Same here, I have no definite goal for myself. Yes I have plans – buy my own house, settle down, have kids, etc etc. But that’s not just it. I have to find my purpose. We all go to this phase, and I think the search never stops. Because we can’t be going to one destination. We have different journeys and we just enjoy it.
    Take it slow, it wouldn’t be fun if you rush it. Sabi nga nila, sa tamang panahon. It will come at the right time, when you least expect it. Don’t get pressured 🙂

  • Wow, posts like this takes a lot of courage. I admire you.
    Your words sounded sad and uncertain. Lighten up! Don’t put too much pressure on your self. Similar things like these sometimes wander my thoughts, too. But I learnt to just go with the flow as I realised there are things which are out of our control. Things will fall into their rightful places eventually, so let’s just enjoy life and smile! Good luck! 🙂